Racism, Fear and Enlightenment

Everyday of 2020 has it’s surprises, and the morning I’m about to tell you about was no different.

I experienced the real effects of 2020’s social unrest firsthand.

There I was before work, rolling into the Albertson’s parking lot, running on fumes.  As I coasted to the gas pumps, I noticed two police SUV’s, parked in the drive aisle at Walgreens, each facing a different direction.  To me, the officers looked to be changing shifts, or just having a little chat.  No lights, no action, nobody was around.  I thought nothing of it.

I got my gas and headed over into the rear of the grocery store parking lot.  I was there for a reason mind you, I don’t just hang out in the Albertson’s parking lot.  I was waiting on an employee of my Rooster’s to pass off an advance in pay.  It was 7:45 am and I was lurking.

Now this employee, she was new and a hard worker just looking to catch up financially after not working all spring and most of the summer.  She just needed some cash to get her by until Monday, when my Rooster would return and payday would commence.  She knew I couldn’t wait for long, needing to get to my own office. She was already ten minutes late.

As I was sat there contemplating just how long I would wait for her, I saw a 2000’s model Forerunner drive into the gas station lot and pull over at the air machine.  I was getting more and more irritated with the waiting, and I pulled out my phone to call my Rooster to discuss his employee’s lack of arrival.

I put the phone to my ear and noticed that a tall black man was walking toward my Jeep from the direction of the gas station.  This man was likely in his 40’s, wearing black slacks, black Romeo’s, a Tacoma Power polo shirt and a black beanie cap.  I figured he was going into the store.

He wasn’t going into Albertson’s though.  He stopped walking about 15 feet from my open window and stared at me while I talked on the phone for a good 5 minutes.  Finally, he said loudly, “Excuse me ma’am, I’m not trying to bother you.”

I’m pretty sure that I rolled my eyes right out onto the pavement.  I immediately assumed that he was looking for a couple bucks, and here I was hanging around the parking lot with a stack of cash.

I was woefully incorrect though, and taken aback when he continued.  “Ma’am, there are two police officers sitting in their cars in the Walgreen’s parking lot.”

“I did see them sitting over there,” were the first words I spoke to him.

“I am just here trying to put air in my tires before I go to work”, he continued.  “I’m a black man and I’m here by myself, do you think that if they approach me, that you would video it?  I obey the law and I’m not looking for any trouble, you just don’t know these days.  I’m not asking you to do anything or talk to them, just take video.”  He spoke quickly and clearly, glancing over his shoulder once or twice.  He wasn’t standing so far away from me that I couldn’t see the worry in his eyes.

“Of course I will!”  I told him in all seriousness.

This was not a weak man.  He was healthy and strong looking.  He was clear eyed and well spoken.  If I had to pick a man, even narrowing the field to only black men who would be worried for his safety, this man would be the last one I ever picked.

And just like that, I became aware that the real fear that black people talk about on TV is not exaggerated and that the safety I feel when police officers are near is not necessarily what others feel, even the ones that are law abiding, peaceful, functioning members of society.  All just because of the color of their skin.  This small realization was horrifying.

I felt amazingly ashamed that I had assumed that he was going to ask me for money, even though the optics of the situation did not point to such a happening.  I was confused and kind of proud that he would pick me to ask for help, even if that was only because I was parked in the right place at the right time.

Imagine being afraid to get out of your vehicle in an empty parking lot to put air in your tires and feeling that you might be victimized by police at 7:45 in the morning.

Maybe he was a bad guy and was worried they would run his plates and come and get him.  But more likely, he is a victim of the media and of actual real current events.  There is a reason in this country today that a black man would be afraid of the police.

As I was pondering all of this, I watched him air up his tires.  When he was done, he turned to me and waved.  He shouted, “Thank you so much, have a great day.” Then drove off into the sunrise.

I yelled back, “Anytime!”  I continued to sit there in that parking lot for another good ten minutes reflecting on how that small event had changed my life.

My Rooster’s employee never did show up for her cash, but I like to think that I was there for a different reason all together that morning.  I was there for enlightenment.

I didn’t think that black people’s wariness of police was real.  I thought that those that experienced extreme agitation around the police were gang members, thugs, drug dealers and people of ill repute.   And let’s be honest, those types of people come in all colors.

I had no idea that a strong professional, black man would actually be afraid to put air in his tires because nearby police might hassle him or hurt him.

I am not naïve, although this blog post certainly makes me seem that way.  I am well aware that black people in particular have a reason to think that a police officer would resort to force and defensiveness and when dealing with them.  There are decades of history that prove it.  That in itself is wrong.

In that vein, given the highly publicized incidents of violence and even death occurring during altercations between black people and police this year alone, I see why the Black Lives Matter movement exists.  I see why protesters have taken to the streets, looking for the recognition of this issue truly existing all over our country.  The rioting and looting is entirely different and abhorrent that it be attached to this very real issue.  I don’t think that the protests are the right way, but perhaps it’s the only way right now.

I just didn’t realize how bad it really had gotten.

I don’t know how to correct it.

No one should fear the police just because police are present, and we have to fix the reasons that people do fear them…. right now.

Defunding the police is not the answer.  New forms of training can help, but we need to weed out the bad guys.  Because if we can’t, or if we don’t, you might be the next one to be afraid of the police while you are trying to air up your tires, and where will we be then?

For now, let’s help each other.  Keep an eye on your fellow citizens when interacting out there in the great blue yonder.

Maybe what everybody really needs to hear, to really understand, are more stories like this one.

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