Yep…… We’re farmers now.
It happened accidentally during the first days of the Covid 19 lockdown, and it is absolutely Darin’s fault.
On a fateful Wednesday in the dark days of end of March 2020, Darin (friend for many years, known troublemaker) sauntered into our backyard via the open garage. He was carrying a smallish box. Not unlike the one Taco Bell gives you when you order a big taco box. I know you know what I’m talking about.
“GET OUT”, I yelled at him, furious that he was breaching our safe zone. I was a bit manic in the early days of the Pandemic.
The box was full of baby chicks.
My Rooster immediately wanted some of our own. Not so secretly, my dream home is a hobby farm, so I happily agreed based on the condition that he would build them a house. That first week of lockdown my Rooster also stayed home from work, so he needed a project anyway.
The men headed across Pacific Avenue to Tractor Supply and returned in no time with 10 baby chicks of our own.
Darin had jumped into the deep end of the pool and he had a new box. One with three ducks.
And that’s how we ended up with Howard, our first duck. Howard the Duck was a runt, kind of a dull brown color and I fell in love with him instantly. Darin gave him up.
Tractor Supply doesn’t sell just one duckling, you have to buy at least two and we soon found out why. Ducks just love each other, and poor Howard was lonely. He kept looking sadly (duck emotion interpretation, sheesh) over the cardboard divider in the tub at the chicks.
Amidst a couple of days of baby chicken death my Rooster returned to Tractor Supply for replacement chicks and two more ducklings. Big Honk and the Whistler to be exact.
My Rooster finished the Chicken Mansion over the course of a few days, mostly with material on hand.
The garden was tilled and the planting of the mighty garden commenced. Seeds, seedlings from the green house and some starts from Ace Hardware, visited with much caution, all were planted in the garden, in the tomato corner, annuals in the empty planters and there was much weeding. .
As the weeks passed, slowly and methodically, with much hand washing, our chicks and ducks grew. The ducks especially grew fast, at four weeks they were making such a mess in the spare room we made the unilateral choice that they belonged outside. They were the first residents of the chicken mansion. They lived in the roosting box with a heat lamp. A week later they ventured down the ramp and into the grass mostly by falling off the ramp.
So then came the Quack Shack! The chicken mansion took four days to build, the Quack Shack took two hours.
Alas though, the Quack Shack was quickly too small for daily living and everybody wanted to run. We didn’t get the chickens and ducks to keep them hostage, so a new plan was made, one where the side of the backyard became a bird run. Everyone was happy. I was happy because the trailer and bike trailer, the lawn mower and stack of monster truck tires were all banished into other places. The tires were sold, the trailers moved to the side lot and chicken wire quickly took their place.
The birds were happily leading a side by side existence. The chickens still safely inside the mansion but coming out to eat grass and seeds. The ducks got a bigger pool and plenty of Room to roam.
The garden started growing and the annual weed fight commenced. But this year, being on quarantine, the weeds stood no chance. My garden, ahem crops are looking incredible. I guess 2020 had to be a banner year for something, and this is it. 🙂
Everything was hunky dory (do people still say that?), until the massacre. Raccoons got into the rinky dink cage and killed both Whistler and Howard. It was a grizzly scene and my Rooster was beside himself.
He and eventually Darrin hunted coons all day and managed to shoot two of them, causing the Daddy of the family to fall out of the tree with a viscous throat wound. As it thrashed around in it’s death throes my Rooster found a largish tree branch and beat it to death. He really loved those ducks and blamed himself for not securing well enough to keep them safe. To this day we don’t know how Big Honk survived unscathed.
On that very same day there was another trip to Tractor Supply. The bird run needed reinforced and three new ducks found their way to our bird farm. These new ones were two day old babies, cute as can be. There was another of Honk’s breed and two baby black and yellow striped ones.
They sure made us feel better, even though they launched us right back into the baby bird nursery, that had only recently been turned back into the spare bedroom. But there was no Howard. Howard the Duck was our first duckling and we wanted him back, so Tractor Supply was put on notice.
Just under a week later they came through and our duck family was complete again, or soon to be, once those babies can get outside with Honk.
It was construction time again, and instead of our usual bike trip, camping weekend of debauchery in true Danger fashion, we stayed home and built the fortress. Nothing can get in. Ok, small birds get in.
The garden is on fire. Peas are ready, the backyard is in full bloom. You cannot find a dandelion (although that is thanks to Honk, he loves the flower heads, YUM).
The babies should be outside in a week, which is so great, because I have a problem with those babies. THEY ARE SO MESSY. They splash water everywhere, they love to play in it, but need fresh water to drink all the time. SMH.
Little Honk is a pleasure and most ready to go out. He just needs to grow his real feathers. New Howard is the cutest little guy and likes to stand up tall, he’s going to be a beautiful duck, light gray body and a black head.
Those black and yellow ones though. They’re already trouble. They run fast and dive deep into the tub racing around like little darts.
They had to be moved the other day from the customary baby bird tub because one of them kept jumping out. I like to refer to this one as “Lil Fucker”.
He is hard to catch. I chased him around the room on three different occasions before we switch to a cage. He likes to look at you with his mouth open like he’s laughing at you, especially when running away.
Last night as I was taking the ducklings one at a time into the bath for their evening swim, I purposely left Lil Fucker for last. I knew he would be a pain in the rear to catch.
Problem to catch, pfffffft, what an understatement. That Lil Fucker ran right past me, out of the bedroom and down the hall toward the living room. That was when I lost sight of him. I was yelling his new baptismal name as I headed that direction.
But lo and behold, the last resident of this house that I expected to help had come to the rescue.
LB had Lil Fucker cornered by the front door. She wasn’t attempting to catch or eat her, I don’t think Lil Fucker was in danger, but she sure did get him to stop until I could get there and sweep him off to the tub.
I can’t wait to get them outside.
Honk on the other hand, Honk is in heaven, he’s got his ceramic girlfriend to keep him company when we aren’t outside.
Of course, he also has his best friend. Honk is in a deep love with my Rooster. He honks up a storm when he hears Roosters voice. Honk follows my Rooster around the backyard right on his heels, he submits and lays down so my Rooster can pet him and just last night, Honk ate watermelon right out of my Rooster’s hand.
It’s a beautiful bird relationship. My Rooster is even a bit worried that once the babies come outside he will lose his new best friend. I don’t think so though. I’m sure Honk will love the babies and still love his human.
As a matter of fact, we are begining to think that Honk may be female, given his/her love for my Rooster and submission to him. Gender pronouns really are tough in the bird world.
And the chickens, eh…. they’re ok. We have the customary Rooster and five hens.
Right now they’re pretty boring. They tweet a bit and flap around. Maybe later they’ll be more fun.
That’s how we became farmers during the Pandemic, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Oh, speaking of which we are looking for a reliable house sitter who can handle the farm while we run off and have a few adventures this summer.
Requirements: Let birds out in the morning and feed them. Close the birds into their homes at night.
Please inquire about this job via comment below.