The Tragic Tale of Lumpy the Snowman

Oh Lumpy, we did have a good run.

I welcomed Snomageddon 2019 at first, since it threatened to hit on a Friday afternoon, promising a long cuddly weekend and all, it seemed like a good match for me and my sensibilities.

It is now drawing to a close, and for that I couldn’t be more grateful, as the last couple of days have been absolutely dreadful.

Yep, the blue canopy on the big shelter was lost to Snowmaggedon. Don’t worry there was an 800 number on it.

I said it.  Dreadful.  Who even uses that word anymore?


The predicted beginning of Snowmaggedon did not disappoint.  We still had a couple of inches of yucky snow left from the last Monday, you remember, the precursor and predictor of days to come that we all woke up to here in Western Washington last week.

Or maybe it’s all blurred together now.  Victims of trauma report that happening quite often.

Friday was the day, the start of the weekend, the day that I was going to be able to push my snow button.

I have a snow button on my Jeep, that I’ve been just dying to use for the last year and half.  I pushed it just once before, at White Pass last year, and I didn’t really need to.

Snow button or not, I was off work by noon, since the snow had started coming down hard in Gig Harbor, and was predicted to hit the entire region by 1 pm.

It did not disappoint, I braved the blizzard to Safeway, like every-dang-body else and found them stock out of eggs and celery.

I was home safe before it was really sticking.  That evening we ventured out for a few cocktails and returned before the worst of it hit.  Cozy by the fire, the ground outside was about 4 inches deep.


After my Rooster and I spent the morning making breakfast and digging out the yard (guess who did which job LOL), fate took over.

I literally made a new friend, as you do.

I haven’t made this kind of friend in many years.

Meet Lumpy.

The snow, a foot deep by noon, blinded me in the afternoon sunshine as I set out to get started.

It was meant to be, Lumpy and me.  His first giant snowball just seemed to roll itself up, and soon was more than big enough to plant as the base.

The second big snowball was trickier, I was trying to preserve the beauty of the untouched snow in the backyard.  (Now there’s something you never think about when making a snowman as a kid).

Before long his head was on, and I took decidedly longer to pick out his face.

He ended up with solar lights for eyes, a yard art mushroom for a nose, and a bottle topper for his mouth.

He needed to be a rock star though, since rock stars we are in this house.

Aunt Jane’s Harley tutu served as his hair, and the finishing touch.

It was love at first sight I tell you.  Lumpy and I.


A few more inches of snow fell overnight but things were looking better, the roads had been plowed and my Rooster went to work.

It is now day two and a half of being at home.  I did ALL of the laundry, cleaned both bathrooms, cleaned out the refrigerator and scrubbed it, washed all of the cabinet faces, made a batch of cookies, ventured out to the gas station up the street and used my snow button.  I vacuumed, watered the plants, worked on my paint by number and made fancy street tacos for dinner.

I talked to Lumpy.

I felt trapped by the beautiful snow.

I can’t speak for Lumpy’s feelings, but you can judge for yourself by his body language.

The news said that on Monday we were going to receive another 4 to 8 inches of snow.  Some said in the late morning, some said in the evening the snow would come.

I declared aloud that I was going to work Monday, regardless.  I was emboldened by my trip to the gas station and my snow button.  It’s crazy how fast the walls of your own home close in on you, ahem, me.


I won’t lie, I didn’t get up “going to work early”, but I was up by 7:30, dressed and ready to go.  It was sunny and my wonderful Rooster had shoveled the driveway.  I made my way out onto the icy snowbound streets of the neighborhood toward Pacific Avenue, and to my surprise they were not wet and slushy like they were the afternoon.  They were a bit of a horror show.

But, I (so smart) was determined to get the heck out of the house and proceeded to white knuckle my way to the office, down the icy arterials and patchy freeway.  They were passable and I had my snow button on, but Jeez……… I should not have done that.

Every street in Gig Harbor, even the arterials, and the parking lot at work was a serious mess.  And what do I find when I get there?  A couple of guys that live in the Harbor, eager to poo poo my fear of getting back home since it had started to snow already.

Blizzard conditions by noon.  Sigh…… Time to ride the wave of anxiety and fear all the way home.  I made it of course (woooo for the snow button), but of course also found myself again feeling trapped.

All-new 2015 Jeep® Renegade Trailhawk


Trapped is my least favorite.

Lumpy was literally sick about it, or maybe he was running for his life.

We did get to go out to Dinner (Happy Birthday again Dunc!) and out of sheer exasperation with staring at these walls, I went to bed early.


Hooray for the rain!  It’s a good thing I like the rain, given that we live in the Pacific Northwest, right? 

By Tuesday morning, it had been raining for 12 hours, you would think the snow would be gone, but it’s barely looking melty.

Lumpy, well, he gave up the ghost.  It wasn’t a relationship made to last.

It turns out that Lumpy was just serving as a metaphor for my own devolving attitude and mental health, while dealing with being stifled by the snow. Who would have guessed that my psychological situation would manifest itself in art?

Oh wait. That is literally the definition of art. We are learning here folks, right here, right now.

I easily drove to work today, pushing the snow button for the side streets only, and happy to do so.  I managed to work the whole day, it was great.

I went to visit my parents, had dinner with them and shopped at a few stores on my way home.  It was amazing.

I’m home for the night now and still I feel the walls closing in, but the cozy is starting to come back.

You know who I’m sorry for?  The parents that still are dealing with kids home from school.  The news says they are almost all closed again tomorrow.

I would lose my ever loving mind, obviously.

Good one old man Winter.

C’mon Spring!


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