The Beep

Picture this, you are just about to send your man off to nightshift.  It’s 9:00 pm.  You have been outside for hours, there’s TV and lots of yard work to do.  It’s beautiful out there, BEEP you haven’t actually done more than walk through the house to the bedroom in weeks.

You enter through the backdoor.  BEEP The easternmost end of the house.

Your Rooster tells you, as he packs his cooler for work, “If you need batteries, there should be the right size in the drawer.”

“What are you talking about?”, you reply.  BEEP.

You were watching TV too loud, you hadn’t noticed it.

Then you see Peep start twitching at the sound of the beep, and you realize it can’t possibly be the TV.

You pull out the step ladder, BEEP, and the bag of batteries.  Then you walk around and listen.

It’s not in the hallway, or in the BEEP  kitchen.  It sounds like the dining room, but confusingly like the bar, which has no detectors.


Call the Rooster, he says good luck.  There’s only two it can be.

He’s wrong though, you have already checked those two and while you can’t eliminate them, BEEP, while you have the batteries out…. not them.

You think it might be the main fire alarm, so you undo the main alarm in the kitchen. BEEP  The best culprit.

Not only is it not that alarm, it’s hell on wheels to get the cover back on BEEP the hard wired alarm.

Seems to be coming from the dining room…BEEP… No alarms in there, but can’t find the carbon monoxide detector.

*Time out to cuddle the jumpy cat, who keeps jumping because every 15 seconds something beeps*

*Take selfie and send to Rooster to hope he feels bad about the beep and thinks harder*


Walk around the living room, kitchen and hallway, listening very hard BEEP for where the beep might be coming from.  Definitely the dining room.


Finally, you consider that it’s the carbon monoxide detector, BEEP, and you start looking for it.

You know it must be down low, because that’s where Carbon Monoxide Detectors go.

You think it’s where you last thought it was…In the entertaining dining room near the kitchen….  It’s not.


You walk through the living room, and into the hallway and come back again toward the kitchen.

BEEP.  Peep jumps, and you go to the dining room.  Suddenly you find an apparatus, a big charger if you will, behind the wine fridge (you don’t drink wine, but have a lot of it).

BEEP.  Right in your hand it beeps.

Jubilant you jump for Joy!  You celebrate with you and yourself.  Peep (the cat) is unimpressed.

As you rip that spent 9 volt battery out of it’s plug you revel in your triumph over industry.

BEEP!  Just kidding, no more beep.

But you couldn’t find another fresh 9 volt, so if for some reason the house is filled with carbon dioxide, it becomes suddenly airtight and we die……….

Find a song with BEEP in the name for the memorial.  🙂

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